Eulogy for Mary E. Rickard



EULOGY FOR MARY E. RICKARD [1/2008]

The saying goes, “Oh! If we could only see ourselves as others see us.” And, it is also true that all too often we never learn of our impact on the lives of others for it is at moments such as this, the funeral for Mary Elizabeth Rickard, that the joy, the surprise and the caring we experience with another; friend, family member, neighbor is brought to the surface and made public.

We all have our personal traits and histories that are humorous or funny, serious or sad, generous and thoughtful, all too human, that we experience or we generate, and leave behind for others to reflect upon, that characterize our lives; lives that are often remembered by the smallest and seemingly most insignificant events.

For example: Mary’s niece, Margie remembers MiMi, as she was known to her family, taking her to her very first movie at a local theater. The movie? Mary Poppins. And, accordingly, Margie pictures MiMi as Mary Poppins in her memories.

Bobby will remember virtually growing up on Wellston Place, in the house that Grandpa Rickard built, surrounded by the Rickard family and the love and attention he received from Mimi. Especially while dad was away during WWII and the years of national recovery following that war, when Americans again began rebuilding their lives.

While I myself have many fond memories of MiMi, there is one memory in particular that was both touching and principled. I will carry it with me always.

Winston Churchill, statesman and Prime Minister of England once said, “We make a living by what we get, but…..We make a life by what we give.”

Many years ago, at a time when I was struggling financially and wondering where I would find the cash to buy Christmas gifts for my daughter Kristina, a card unexpectedly appeared in the mail. It was from my aunt MiMi. Enclosed was a check, and the card read, “Remember this, and one day you will help someone else.” To this day I do not know how she knew. I had not made any mention of my concerns to her. But, she knew! And her unsolicited generosity has had an impact on me, and no doubt many others, that will live long past her time on this earth.

Coming from simple and modest beginnings, MiMi was just an average middle-class American. But she had some flare for entrepreneurship. In her life, MiMi, along with her sister Margaret, our mom, had owned and operated some local dress shops in O’Bryonville and Madisonville. She had a great artistic talent for flower arranging at Flowers By Marjorie in O’Bryonville, and for many years as a saleslady at fashionable Martin’s at Hyde Park Plaza. Full of energy, vivacious, and maybe just a little bit hyper-active (ha, ha), MiMi continued working well into the years that most people spend in retirement. Not because she had to, but because she enjoyed people, making their acquaintance and their friendship. She was a real pro. And a talented one at that!

Late in life, Mary reflected on her years. She felt accomplished in her work, loved in her family, experienced in her travels, happy in her community and ready for the Lord to bring her home. Leonardo da Vinci put it best, when he said, “As a well-spent day brings sleep, so life well used brings happiness in death.”

George M. Cohan, the famous broadway entertainer, playwright, composer, lyricist, actor, singer, dancer, director and producer (he was a very talented and BUSY man) wrote a popular melody called ‘MARY’. The song’s Refrain went…….

FOR IT WAS MARY, MARY, PLAIN AS ANY NAME CAN BE;

BUT WITH PROPRIETY, SOCIETY WILL SAY ‘MARIE’.

BUT IT WAS MARY, MARY, LONG BEFORE THE FASHIONS CAME;

AND THERE IS SOMETHING THERE THAT SOUNDS SO FAIR,

IT’S A GRAND OLD NAME!

And, stating with the most flattering of intended graces and class that she was, Mary was a grand ‘ole dame.

That's The Ticket!

Charlotte {Rickard} & John Long

Following Johnny's Navy service during WWII, and journalism education in California and Boston, he returned to his hometown of Cincinnati. He met his future wife, Charlotte, when, while attending a church festival, he bought a raffle ticket. He won $2000! It was Charlotte who sold him that ticket. When reminded of this story many years later, Charlotte said "I married him for his money!"

Deaf Man's Bluff & Mario Lanza He's Not, However...

One of my favorite family subjects is our uncle Bill (Rickard; aka BoBo). Perhaps it's because, in part, of his adaptation to deafness and overcoming adversities that were particularly challenging for one of his generation.

When he was growing up there were no technologies that assisted individuals with such a handicap. For example, in his case: the internet, email, texting and other social media hadn't been invented yet --- technologies and applications that would have easily aided his ability to communicate in a hearing world. Which is the focus of this story.

You see, my uncle and aunt (previously mentioned in another family story, whom was also deaf) did not believe in sign language. Their view was that they lived in a 'hearing' world and must therefore adapt as best they could. So they became very adept, incredibly so, at lip-reading.

Which leads me to an event for the deaf and hard of hearing that was being held in St.Louis, MO to which my uncle Bill was in attendance. He was holding a conversation with a hearing woman across the dinner table when his attention was drawn to another attendee sitting beside him, with whom he then began to converse.

Part way into this second conversation the woman across the table wished to chime in but uncle Bill was totally oblivious to her efforts as his attention was focused on his neighbor. The woman across the table couldn't understand and was becoming irritated as to why he was 'ignoring' her.

It wasn't until someone gave uncle Bill a visual cue that the woman across the table was attempting to speak to him that she realized he was totally deaf.

Unrelated to this story, but no less amazing to me...

When uncle Bill was about 90-years-old and attending a family Thanksgiving dinner, it suddenly dawned on me that I had never asked him if he, as he hadn't lost his hearing until he was 16 years of age, remembered any music or songs.

To my amazement, he said yes, he did. So I, in my curiousity, followed up with what I thought was the obvious next question: Do you think you could sing one?

Now, keeping in mind that he had not heard a sound in more than 70 years, I feared that I might embarrass him somehow. But he had always seemed amicable and cooperative in answering my questions in the past, so I figured I could always back away if I had inadvertently struck a sensitive nerve. But, NO!

Would you believe it? That elderly man, whom had not heard a note in nearly three-quarters of a century struck up singing not one, but two melodies {both of which I was familiar with, and can attest to} in perfect tune and pitch. How can someone who cannot hear himself speak do this, I thought.

But he did. Making for a very remarkable and memorable finale to that Thanksgiving day.